what happens when i do nothing

it's been a while...

i will be completing my cases next week at the RMC OR which means no duty for this week (yaay!), and i will be back at my most favorite area at the hospital, the operating room (double yaay!).

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yesterday, i accompanied hannah to the physical therapist. unfortunately, the therapist wasn't there so we spent the entire day checking out hannah's prospective colleges. this took us from dasma, cavite, to makati. our last stop was at glorietta to refuel. just hope that this won't be one of the places my sister would want to spend her college days in!

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i miss mick so much it gnaws me like hell everytime i'm reminded that it would still take a while before he gets home. i never realized phone calls can be so much treasured. sniff! sniff!

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life is sooo complicated. i've been contemplating on my useless life not so long ago since i have the whole day to spend about. it was then that i thought that i still wasn't happy, instead, i feel crappy.

this year, almost everything i wished for were given to me ( a high paying job for mick, academic milestones, a healthy skye, a smaller waistline, yada, yada, yada). i told the powers that be that if given these, i would be really happy.

the feeling did not last long. it was like fed into my mouth and spurted out of my anus faster than diarrhea.

and now it's dehydrating me.

deep in thought, i realized that i was unhappy because i am a discontented sucker for everything nice. i'm a leech for infinite and absolute perfection. and though perfection is a good aspect, that still does not erase the fact that i'm still a leech.

maybe i should stop looking and start seeing that happiness was already here, just unnoticed.
maybe i was really happy, maybe i am not, but now i choose to act happy cause maybe i am.

if all the world is a stage, why did i get to play a part of a psycho?

ha! ha! ha! i'm beginning to get crazy... can you tell?